Cinema, Stand-up Comedy and Orfans.

I dreamed I was going to the movies with my boyfriend. The chairs were beds and there were huge screens in front and behind the room, on opposite sides. There were Santa Claus everywhere, hanging like dolls, and every time someone passed they would ring their little bells and wish them a merry Christmas, it was very annoying.

So we were watching a very boring movie, I don't remember the content, but it was very boring. I felt hungry and went out to buy something to eat, but found nothing. There was a soccer field outside, made of dirt, and there were many barefoot children playing soccer and a large slum.

 Across the little field was a very poor, half-dirty bathroom, but I was keen to pee. Upon entering there was a very thin black woman looking at me. I thought it was weird that she wanted to watch me pee, but honestly I didn't care (no, I didn't pee in bed..kkkk). As I was leaving, I opened the closet that was attached to the bathroom wall and found a can of sausages, ate two and went back to the cinema.

Arriving there, I saw my boyfriend kiss a girl like Megan Fox and looking at me, he made a scared face saying he confused me with her (detail that I look nothing like Fox). Well, I got hate, hit him and sat on my bed. That's when two girls about 9 years old started running around the theater, making noise and laughing. I fretted, took both of my arms, and led them to the football field outside. When I got there, there was a teacher who said: now they are your responsibility.

I came back and said to my boyfriend: Well, now we have two daughters and I sat in bed with them, that's when a very boring stand-up comedy started and I complained that it was a bum. The last thing I remember was the noise of Santa's bells tinkling over us.

A Court, Politicians and A Suit Made of Bucciaratti.

Bruno Bucciaratti

I have a house with a very large yard, it's almost 2 thousand square meters. A lot of people are always wanting a part of it, but I'm always watching my ground.

For the sake of understanding, as you, the reader, are not necessarily otaku or have seen this anime, Bucciarati is a character from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure who's part of Italian Mafia.

Well, I was in court. A woman claimed that she needs to transpass my ground to have a safier way to get out her own house to work. Her house was apparently surrounded by slums, traffic, and darkness, and my land would help her and other residents have a safer way to reach the other side of the neighborhood. This way, they wanted to make a passage inside my garden.

I argued that it would make no difference because the robbers and murderers would enter the passage anyway to rob people. Besides, I would also be in danger because they would pass the side of my house. It was a political matter that there was no lighting in the neighborhood or problems with public safety.

Even so, the judge didn't seem convinced to leave me with my own home, so imagine my despair.

I'll tell you what the woman suing me was like. She was blond, but her skin was flushed by the sun. Still, she wore a lot of gold jewelry and a tacky outfit that mimicked jaguar skin. It looks like a "Karen" but of a South American type.

So I met Bucciarati in one of the courtroom corridors and explained the situation. For those who don't know, Bucciaratti is a mobster, but has a great sense of justice and he is even slightly kind. He told me that he came to testify on behalf of that woman at Mafia orders, but he would find a way to help me.

I went to the bathroom about 5 minutes later and found some documents on top of the toilet. It said that woman was a corrupt senator who wanted to use my ground to open a road. This would benefit the slum drug cartel at the end of the neighborhood and make it easier for them to get out. All the evidence was there.
Then I entered the court again.

The lawyers called Bucciaratti and he began to talk about how dangerous the favela was and how many people died there. However, in the middle of the testimony he said:

"But it's not like I could say anything. It wasn't me that day" - and winked at me.

I got the signal, got up and said the plaintiff was a rich senator and didn't even live in that neighborhood. Everyone was in shock. She laughed and said:

"So what? Because I'm a senator, I can't live in a simple place or defend my voters?"

That's when I showed the documents and the judge read everything carefully. The woman went into despair and tried to remove the papers from the judge's hand.


At this time, Buciaratti took his skin off him.

 Yeah, he pulled his skin out like a suit and inside was a woman who looked like a prisoner.





She wore orange numbered jumpsuit and short hair. She looked at me and smiled. The guards took the two women and left. As she passed me, the prisoner said:

"Now you owe Bucciaratti."

I calmed down and woke up.

The Island, Evil One and Churches

Today I had a crazier dream than last one.

I dreamed I was going to church with my mother, uncle, and my cousins. Everything was fine until they asked a lot of money from each person to help maintain the church. I got angry because our church was small and didn't need nearly that much money and I started arguing with the woman who was speaking up front who answered:

"These offenders don't understand the difference between God's work and street robberies. Look at this woman complaining about God's work! These children were visibly beaten by police officers for committing street crimes!"

I felt hatred rising from the toe to the head. My cousins ​​were 8 and 4 years old in my dream. I shouted  so much that the priest closed the meeting.

When we left, we ended up in a place full of weeds, really weeds, with thorns and without being able to see far ahead. Walking a lot, I found an iron cross on the floor, it was a necklace, actually.

At this time, the island turned out to be a giant black woman. All the weeds and rivers and trees were above and around it. But I was really scared when she started talking to me:

"This cross you carry was from one of the devil's followers himself, Vlad III, the Dracula. Now you will look in the eyes of evil what he looked like. " and I looked myself on the river: I was that skull guy from He-Man. 

She explained other things to me more like she had become an island and what those pointy, weird plants were, but I didn't pay much attention.

When we all left the island and went to my house, there was a rave party going on in my street. That did look like hell. A motorcycle and a car collided with my car that was parked outside my house and I felt angry again. But there everyone was afraid of me and walked away from the door of my house.

Maybe it was the cross taking effect, I don't know. The rave is over, but I woke up before finding the culprits who hit my car. Damn it. 

Everthing was about John Wick

I dreamed I was John Wick, with Keanu Reeves's face and all. I accidentally killed the son of an Italian mafia boss. This guy was fat, short and bald, with a striped suit, purple and white, chain and gold and cigar in his mouth, more like a cartoon stuff. 

The place was full of narrow streets, houses crammed on top of each other and several dead ends. They were not ugly houses, it was just very dark and confusing. I was running away from about 30 guys armed with every kind of heavy weaponry you can carry, same as Call of Duty.




They looked like military men, big and strong, with shaved heads, but they were shouting things in Italian (my brain must have remembered the little Italian he knows). I skipped walls, roofs, and fences, fleeing dogs, trying not to get the residents' attention. One of the soldiers found me and we fought. He stabbed my right shoulder, feeling the pain and seeing it sink into my body.

I woke up, scared and went to the bathroom. 

When I returned, the dream continued and I had become a small blond boy who lived in one of the houses. I watched the soldiers pass me as I watched their rush through the streets. One of them stopped, looked deep into my eyes and asked me if I had not seen a man in a black suit running around. I said I didn't know what he was saying. The boy's father I had become had left the house and shouted at the man to leave me alone.

When I entered the house, I suddenly grew up. Now I was a blond man, about 30 years old. I was absurdly tired, but I had to run because John Wick was after me. There were a few more people there, a woman who was apparently my girlfriend, some guys who were my friends, and two seniors. 

The place had become the house where I had spent my childhood, but with its very refined and chic exterior, in a beautiful neighborhood full of flowers and trees.



I watched John's black car approach the wall, accompanied by several jeeps with those same military men.


When they broke down the door, the place became a cemetery. The shooting was so intense that the bodies were shattered on the floor, but I had no time to think about it: John Wick was coming after me, killing all my friends one by one. Only one survived, a big, bald guy like Vin Diesel. 

Getting out was difficult, I had to shoot about 17 people, the head of one of them exploded in front of me, the brain running down the wall. When we fled, we caught one of the jeeps in front of the house and drove as far as we could. 

We ended up in the middle of the desert. As we were hungry, we robbed a truck stop. We just got food, water and gas, nothing more. When we went to see one of the trucks had followed us: John Wick was the driver, but he was blond, fat and hairy. 

The last scene I can remember was seeing my jeep blown away and turning into a fireball on the road.

Blue fire and The Bomberman.

Today's dream was unlike any other dream I've ever had.

 I was an employee of an excavation mine. Our company had dug deep into a mountain and there was a very deep hole in the darkness. The weird part of the situation was that the mountain was made of minecraft blocks.



The miners began to die during work, so I went to check what was going on. There was a blue fire surrounding the whole mountain inside and a giant demon dog inside. In addition, there was a man, all dressed in black, who called himself the bomberman. With a scary yellow smile, the bomberman tried to kill me by throwing a grenade at me. I fled to the other exit of the mountain.

I left in a weird place, very poor and dirty. Out of nowhere, a baby appeared on my lap. I heard about another woman who needed to pass the mountain and was worried about the monsters that were there. I offered my help and we climbed a long narrow stairway, made of cement and up a slum. Reaching the top, the woman comments, "I don't like to come by. There's a lioness who hates me."




When I looked, there was a huge lioness with a pink dress and a bow on her head, looking at us. But, for some reason,  she got distracted and we tried to get right past her. We ran to the other street, but the lioness reached the other woman with the baby. I saw the scene, terrified, and screamed to get the lioness's attention, who got distracted and fell off a cliff, breaking her neck. I went down the slope and went to try to help the lioness. She was drowning in her own blood. For some reason she breathed but didn't move. Conveniently, a person who worked in one of the houses around appeared and we took care of the lioness.
Calmingly, the woman and I walked back toward the mountain. This time "the bomberman" wasn't there, but the devilish dog had turned into a nice labrador and it led us to the mountain's exit.

The blue fire turned to ice and we could climb back through the mountain hole.

Moe got laid because of me and Axl Rose

All stuff you'll hear about is a true dream I had.

I dreamed last night about my uncle and his little Beetle taking us to a city in Tokyo Bay.

It was a beautiful night and the view was the same that every gaijin would expect: panchinkos, street food shops, anime-dressed high school students, old men sweeping their sidewalks. Apparently Tokyo was under Gojira's attack, so the city was kind of deserted.

..........We could hear the screams in the distance.............

In the meantime, I went out looking for things to do. I passed by a house and heard a scream. When I broke the window, I saw a half-naked little boy on the floor and a scary old man. This one scrapes me in the ear and I, terrified, run off, sweating and shivering, with the boy in my arm.

After that, I drop the boy in the square and go to Moe's bar (that one of the Simpsons and don't judge me, I was stressed). I drank and saw Axl Rose comforting Moe.

I went out for buying some books in the shop next door. The attendant was a jerk with me.I got angry and said very meaning things to her, including she were dying alone. She cried a river and ran away. Besides this awful context, I left the store and had an idea.

Later, when Gojira was closer to where we were, I saw Axl and Moe heading to the marina. I convinced the shitty girl to come with me.

By the time we got there, Axl was talking to Moe and I called him to come with me, pulling by his elbow. Moe and the girl were left there ,alone. Axl and I ran off and laughed. We could hear the smooching..kkkk

I came back and my uncle was sleeping in a hammock. He woke up and we got home, magically teleported by his Beattle

The end. Pretty crazy right?